Age is just a number

Yes, it is true.

Why? Because I'm 21 yet I still have a curfew.

There are certain things that you only get to do when you're young. Going out sampai malam-malam is one of them. For example, you can't keluar lepak with friends sampai 3pagi when you have a kid or a husband. It's not like I get wasted or get high. No offence to those who do, I don't really mind if you do it in front of me even. I'm just saying I don't do it because its not my kind of thing.

I get that mum is super protective of me because she only wants what's best. She's paranoid that someone high (or as my friends call them "orang shabu-shabu") will see that I'm driving home alone and will follow me into the house when I open the gate. These things do happen and yes, I am quite afraid myself.

But all I ask for is that I don't have a curfew when my friends are sending me home, when I'm not driving home myself. Because right now, I feel like my zaman muda is sliping away one day at a time and before I know it, I'll be watching my kid grow up and suddenly realise I'm 50. And what have I done during my youth years? Nothing. There's nothing to differentiate my zaman muda and my zaman settle-down.

Lightpainting. Take 1.

Finally got my film processed today. Was super excited to see the outcome :D. Anas and I experimented with light painting. But it's freaking hard using film. Especially the 35mm roll. Cause the Diana F+ lens isn't collaborated with the 35mm film. So only 1/2 of the images came out. U'll see what I mean from the pics below. Was pretty happy about how it came out. I'd say it was a pass attempt seeing that the colours came out alright. The only flaw was the orientation of the camera. I'll experiment with the 120 film next time. Can't wait! Too bad I only brought the 35mm-back back home. Like I said, trial and error. Toodleloos~

Anas was supposed to be the tree bark. His arms were branches. The green is the leaves and the bits of red are apples. Too bad they were all cropped :(

Again, some of his head(s) isn't in the frame.

Supposed to be an outline of my Egyptian pose.

Supposed to be me blowing kisses. Hence, the red hearts.

My make belief angel wings.

p/s: am thinking of getting a super sampler. Will get one in Hong Kong. They have a lomo gallery shop there. Wooots!

There's no end to learning

Harini belajar banyak benda baru:

1. Drive sendiri waktu malam.
2. Main call of duty di cc (1st time main dapat 8 kills and dapat kasi kalah mim. Tahniah kepada diri sendiri).
3. Jalan pintas naik bukit rumah mim.
4. Macam mana on highlight headlight kereta.
5. Bercakap sama Nizar.

What will I learn tomorrow?

What is this feeling?

Absense is to love as wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small and kindles the great.

-Roger de Rabutin-

And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

-Khalil Gibran-

I just woke up from my nap with a great sense of uneasiness. But I can't quite describe what it is.

Sad? Well, I'll be seeing him in a few weeks time so I guess i'm alright.

Nervous? Maybe because I can't wait for the next time I see him.

Empty? I have such a great time when he's around. So when he's gone I feel so lost.

Unsettled? Provoking excessive thoughts of what I should today to keep my mind off him not being by my side.

A few weeks before, I came home to an "empty" house after an exam and went straight to my room. The wonderful friends came out from their hiding place with a cake. I smiled with great appreciation. He wasn't there.

We had cake and the normal chattering took place. The door opened but it was a "late" friend. He still wasn't there.

A few steps behind, there he was. I can't believe he's here! He planned the whole thing months before and everyone has done an awesome job keeping this great surprise from me.

So that's what has happened since my last post. Awful exams, mum was here, and he surprised me the day before my birthday. I've been spending time with him that I haven't bothered with updating.

On a happier note, results were out last night. I passed all 6 subjects! Wuhhoo! I'm very much content with my mixed result of passes, credits, and distinctions.

I am now 21, and a final year pharmacy student. And I say that with gratification.

And to those graduating this semester, a huge congratulations and good luck for the working life.

Urang sabah juga la paling champin...

I was in the midst of using every single brain cell left for my 2nd last paper tmr. Exams have been tough. I'm down with the flu and oh so exhausted. So anyway, I came across this on facebook.

This really made my day =D.

U might need to click on the pics to make it bigger and readable.

Today I woke up on the wrong side of the bed...

I need you to put a smile on my face.

I'd rather be taking dope or opioids rather than smoke or drink

I watched this documentary on Britain's most dangerous drugs few days ago on teli. Thought it was quite interesting.

20. Khat

Street names: Abyssinian tea, African salad

Street price: £4/bunch

UK users: 40,000

UK deaths per year: 0 recorded

This legal stimulant makes users feel alert and energised but in excess it can cause insomnia, impotence and high blood pressure.

19. Alkyl nitrites

Street names: poppers, liquid gold

Street price: £2-6 a bottle

UK users: 400,000

UK deaths: 0 recorded

Alkyl nitrite is a non-addictive, legal drug. Sniffed straight from the bottle, it delivers a short high and relaxes sphincter muscles. Poppers may leave users sick and weak and are toxic if swallowed.

18. Ecstasy

Street names: E, hug drug, love drug

Street price: £1-8

UK users: 500,000

UK deaths/year: 27

An illegal class-A stimulant, ecstasy can cause mild hallucinations, feelings of euphoria, empathy and energy. It causes increases in body temperature and heart rate.

17. GHB

Street name: liquid ecstasy

Street price: £5/cap full

UK users: not known

UK deaths/year: 3

An illegal class-C sedative, GHB makes you happy, sensual and uninhibited in small doses. However, the difference between a buzz-inducing dose and a lethal one is barely noticeable. GHB can also kill when mixed with alcohol.

16. Anabolic steroids

Street price: £20 for 100 tablets

UK users: 42,000

UK deaths/year: 0

A class-C illegal drug used in muscle building, anabolic steriods can make users aggressive and violent and cause sterility, liver failure, strokes and heart attacks.

15. Methylphenidate

Street name: vitamin R

Street price: £15/hit

UK users: 15,000

UK deaths/year: 0 recorded

The active ingredient in drugs such as Ritalin, this class-A stimulant is used to treat attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Illegal users crush the tablets and snort them for a quick high. Abuse can cause vomiting, convulsions, tremors, and delirium as well as dependency.

14. LSD

Street names: Lucy, trips, paper mushrooms

Street price: £1-5/tab

UK users: 83,000

UK deaths/year: 0 recorded

Lysergic acid diethylamide is an illegal class-A drug and gives users feelings of well being, powerful hallucinations and emotional journeys. LSD is physiologically non-toxic.

13. 4-MTA

Street names: flatliner, goldeneagle

Street price: £1-8

UK users: not known

UK deaths/year: 0 recorded

Dealers often sell this class-A stimulant as a replacement for ecstasy, but it does not produce the same euphoric high. Users take more thinking it hasn't worked and can overdose.

12. Solvents

Street price: from £2

UK users: 30,000

UK deaths/year: 50-60

These legal substances are inhaled so they get into the lungs very quickly and give users a quick high. Many solvents are poisonous chemicals like tolumine and have a very toxic effect on the heart.

11. Cannabis

Street names: dope, hash and bob

Street price: £40-140/ounce

UK users: 3 million

UK deaths/year: 1

This class-C drug is usually smoked. In small doses cannabis induces euphoria, relaxation and pain relief but in high doses it can bring on paranoia and short-term memory loss. Use can also lead to some form of dependency.

10. Buprenorphines

Street names: subbies, temmies

Street price: £2 for 4 x 8mg capsules

UK users: unknown

UK deaths/year: 2

A class-C opiate normally used to treat severe pain and heroin dependence, this drug is used illegally for its euphoric and hallucinogenic effects. Without medical guidance buprenorphines are highly addictive, and users are at high risk of overdosing.

9. Tobacco

Street price: from £5

UK users: 10 million

UK deaths: 114,000

Tobacco is an extremely addictive drug responsible for 20% of UK deaths, a 10-year reduction of average life expectancy and 40% of all hospital illnesses.

8. Amphetamine

Street names: speed, whiz, dexies or billys

Street price: £8-12/wrap

UK users: 430,000

UK deaths/year: 35

A class-A&B drug, amphetamines can make users feel energetic and confident. They can be intensely addictive. As tolerance builds up consumption increases, leading to paranoia, depression, panic attacks and violent mood swings.

7. Benzodiazepines

Street names: benzos, downers

Street price: £1 for 4 x 5mg capsules

UK users: 100,000

UK deaths/year: 406

These class-C drugs are minor tranquilizers, such as vallium, prescribed to treat anxiety, insomnia and seizures. Illegal abuse can cause memory loss, nausea, anxiety and depression. Consuming benzos with alcohol often kills.

6. Ketamine

Street names: special K, vitamin K

Street price: £15-40/g

UK users: 100,000

UK deaths: 1

This class-C drug is normally used as a horse tranquiliser. It has very strong pain-killing effects but has become a popular illegal drug because it is also a strong hallucinogen.

5. Alcohol

Street price: from £1

UK users: 40 million

UK deaths/year: 40,000

Alcohol is a depressant but removes inhibitions at low doses. At higher doses, drinkers may experience slurred speech, reduced coordination, nausea and vomiting. Long-term use can damage the heart, liver and stomach.

4. Street methadone

Street names: the precious, slime, green

Street price: £10/100ml

UK users: 33,000 illegal users

UK deaths/year: 295

Prescribed medically, methadone reduces the withdrawal effects of heroin and tends reduce heroin use. Illegal methadone is often diluted with other ingredients and the strength of doses can be hard to judge.

3. Barbiturates

Street names: pink ladies, red devils

Street price: £1-2/tablet

UK users: not known

UK deaths/year: 20

Doctors prescribe barbiturates for depression, anxiety and insomnia. Illegal users can feel relaxed and sociable. A normal dose and an overdose are difficult to tell apart, making barbiturates very dangerous. Class: A (injected) and B (capsules).

2. Cocaine

Street names: Charlie, coke, base

Street price: £30-60/g powder; £10-20 crack rock

UK users: 780,000

UK deaths/year: 214

Users snort cocaine powder and smoke or inject the rock form, crack. Both forms of this class-A drug are dangerous. Crack reaches the brain almost instantly and leaves users very vulnerable to dependence.

1. Heroin

Street names: brown, skag, gear, smack

Street price: £10-20/bag

UK users: 300,000

UK deaths/year: 700

An extremely addictive class-A drug, heroin may be injected or smoked. When injected it can produce feelings of euphoria. As it affects the part of the brain that controls breathing, an overdose can kill.